Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Christmas 102: Christmas Crafts

Hello merry people. I haven't done anything really crafty on here before so I decided to show you how to make your very on mini Santa. Please keep in mind that I am not an artistic person or a perfectionist. I also completely made this up as I went along. What you are about to see may be distressing to young readers.

What you bitches gon' need

All this shit:

 Cardboard toilet roll holder thing
Red and white paint
Paint brush
Black and red markers
Cotton wool
Cue tip
Paper clips
A4 page

Step 1:
Paint about 3/4 of the cardboard roll red and the other 1/4 a pale pink colour. Leave to dry well before moving onto the next step.

 Step 2:
Draw a large circle onto the A4 sheet and cut it out. If you are under 12 or very clumsy, get an adult to help you. I can't afford to be sued.

Step 3: 
Fold the circle into quarters and make a cone-ish shape with it. If you do Biology or Science, it's basically like preparing filter paper. Now, measure the cone against the cardboard roll to make sure the "hat" fits properly.

 Step 4:
Paint yo hat red gurl. Leave to dry completely.

 Step 4:
Secure the hat to the cardboard roll using sellotape, glue or a paperclip.

 Step 5: 
Glue on the cotton wool to the hat for the "fur" effect. (Faux fur I hope). If you're using liquid glue, I'd recommend applying it with a cue tip or an old paintbrush.

 Step 6:
Add the finishing touches, such as a cotton wool beard and eyes. I wanted mine to look slightly derpy so I added some wonky eyes and flushed cheeks.
I must admit I had a lot of fun making that. I gave it to my mother and told her my 4 year old nephew made it. If you do try and make one I'd love to see it! You can message me a picture through my Facebook page; clicketh me

Now, for today's holiday (or should I say holidays) it is "let's hug day" and "make a gift day". So I guess a picture of a derpy cardboard Santa is my gift to you, and I send you cyber hugs and kisses.

Only 22 days to go guys!


Sunday, 1 December 2013

Christmas 101: Writing The List

Happy December. everybody! It's that time of the year where people sneeze on you, complain about being chapped and Santa dedicates himself to riding around in a Coca Cola truck. Christmas is just around the corner and I thought now would be a good time to write my letter to Santa. I really am going to try to get in the festive spirit this year...

Dear Santa,
                   Believe it our not, I have no idea what I want for Christmas this year. Maybe something along the lines of a PS4 or Nintendo DS would be good. Or a new TV. Preferably HD because Heavy Rain looks like an old lady's ass. Could you try get your hands on a new Beatles t-shirt because my mother ruined the one I had with the iron. How about a yellow Freddie Mercury jacket, so I can look like a bad ass mental patient. That'd be awesome. Also could you give my uncle a less annoying laugh? It's really distracting me from writing this.
                  Have you ever located that pony I asked you for when I was five? Or my Johnny Gat Pez dispenser? Could you stop the Yogscast livestream from lagging? No? Ok. Where's my hot boyfriend? Dammit Santa you suck!
                  In all seriousness though, I don't really think I want anything for Christmas. The last two Christmases we had, were kinda sad to be honest. I guess I'm just happy to have my family and friends this year. I'm happy to be able to move on from all the people who've done wrong by me this year and finally just be happy.
                As a gift to you Santa, I recommend you watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WbA3N4_gHM I had a cuteness overload.

                Lot's of love and happy Christmas,

PS; Today is also AIDS awareness day. I think we should celebrate another holiday, everyday, until Christmas!