I've written a lot of these blogs in the past and honestly, I don't think I've ever been this nervous. I haven't written anything in months. I'm not just talking about blogs, I have not wrote anything that was not school related in forever. It feels weird. It feels nice weird.
I suppose some sort of explanation is needed for my lack of writing. I've given a wide range of excuses to friends who've asked, "where's Zoe", "when are you going to blog again". They were told that I just got tired of it and I was finding it difficult to be called by my real name and then turn around to have someone else call me "Zoe". That is not entirely true. In fact, it's not true at all.
When I left off, around December, I'll be honest with you, I wasn't in a good place. School and family issues seemed to be never ending and I was constantly stressed out. I had a fight with one of my best friends and finding people to talk to became very difficult for me. Eventually, all these emotions of stress, sadness and anger began to become evident in my writing because, I had no where else to put it. I was drafting things but, everything just seemed angry and the fun was sucked out of writing. So I stopped. Without thinking really, I just didn't have energy for anything. Between exams and being in and out of hospital, I just really didn't have time, and to be honest, I really didn't care. People kept on encouraging me to write but, I didn't really take any notice. "They're just being nice. No one actually reads this". However, a couple of weeks ago, things changed.
On my Twitter bio, I have the link to my blog. I completely forgot about this, until one day I was checking my notifications and I had a tweet from someone I've never really spoken to before. It said; "@Call_Me_Steph I really enjoyed reading your blog..I hope you write again soon :)". I was befuddled, to say the least. Who is this person and why are they reading about my life? However, it kind of gave me the kick up the ass I needed. I love doing this, why stop? Obviously, I waited until my exams were over to start again because, I'm a very responsible student (lol). But here I am! Finally, back doing something I enjoy. I'm not going to promise you a new blog every day or even every week because, I probably won't stick to it and I don't like making promises I can't keep. Also I just got Minecraft.
Bye for now!