Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Zoe's Guide to: Depression

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to write about things that were personal to me. At first, I couldn't really think of anything. I've already done multiple posts on gaming and friends and basically anything that interests me. Then I thought, what's more important to me than mental health? It's something I feel, isn't taken seriously enough and something, I have addressed but, never really dedicated a whole post to it. 

A couple of things I would like to address before we start is, this is my guide. I'm not speaking for everyone who's ever had depression or is suffering from it now. Also, if you are easily triggered or sensitive to this topic then please stop reading. Just for your own health and safety. 

Ok, so first off, what is depression? According to Google, depression is "feelings of severe despondency and dejection" which basically means feeling in low spirits and just sad. Which is fair enough. In a simple form, that's what it is. In my mind, depression is just feeling really fucking shit. About everything and everyone. No one knows what you're going through. No one cares what you're going through. You don't have energy to do anything that, even getting out of bed is a horrible effort. Some people feel so detached from everything they forget to eat. I'd describe really bad depression as, you're alive physically but not mentally. That's the only way I could describe it. 

Something that a lot of people would associate with depression is self harm. The "interesting" thing about self harm is, not everyone who's depressed self harms and not everyone that self harms is depressed. I have, unfortunately, self harmed in the past. Anything from, cutting, burning, closing doors on my fingers, pulling hair, snap bands, I've done it. But, I think, like a lot of people, the hardest "addiction" I had to beat was, of course, the cutting. I'd do it on mainly the wrists but also sometimes on the legs. But, here we are at the most important thing; How I stopped.

If you're looking for ways to stop harming, (I can only really speak for the cutting because, that's what I indulged in most), I have a couple of things I used. First thing, a lot of people will recommend is the "Don't harm the butterfly" technique, which is where you simply draw a butterfly to whatever part of your body you harm. The idea is to not harm anywhere there's a butterfly, which is where the name comes from. Other people will suggest writing a phrase, so every time you look at it you'll remember not to harm. These, in theory, are good ideas but, if you're trying to keep it on the quiet they can be quite noticeable. So what I did was, I took the idea behind these and just marked my wrist with a tiny X whenever I felt the urge to cut. So basically, every time I'd think about doing it I'd see the X and think "you've gone through the effort of trying to stop, don't let yourself down now". You can also pretend the X's are kisses to yourself if you like. Chewing gum also worked for me, which is kinda weird. I think it just put my focus on something else. It's a good trick for people trying to give up smoking, and for a lot of people, harming is an addiction too.

The next thing, a lot of people associate with depression is, suicide. The only thing I can say, and want to say, is if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please try and speak to someone. I know it's hard, I had to do it but, people can help you. If the first person you tell, doesn't listen, try again. If you have parents who would understand (and I know not everyone does) tell them. In Ireland, there are a lot of free counselling services that can be arranged with your GP and are confidential. There are groups and foundations you can call, to talk to someone (I'll leave Irish numbers at the end). Just speak to someone because honestly, everyone's life means something and everything you're going through is temporary. Take it for someone who knows. It does get better. It may not be perfect but, some day it will get better. I know it's not what you want to hear right now, I've been there, you just have to trust that it will.

To anyone who may not suffer from depression but, is reading to learn more; If someone comes to you and says they're feeling down please, just phone them or visit them. Suicide rates are so high in this country and you really can help someone. The county I live, has the fifth highest suicide rate in the whole country and it's our responsibility as communities of families, friends, neighbours etc to look out for and look after each other. So please do.

I think that's all I have to say on this topic. I feel like I've rambled enough. I hope I've helped some of you and maybe enlightened others. Also, please feel free to message me through Twitter or Facebook if anyone feels they need to. Links can be found on the Blog.

Thank you all for reading this extremely long (for me) post. Stay safe and look after each other.


Websites to find out more;

Numbers to call;
1 Life: 1800 247 100
SoSad: 041 98 48754

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Why Being An Adult Will Ruin Your Life

Remember that time when you were, about eight years old and you were watching TV shows such as, "All Grown Up" and "Kim Possible", and you thought "Wow I can't wait to be a teenager! It looks awesome!" Then, you finally entered you're teenage years and it wasn't really awesome at all. You were expected to act like an adult whilst being treated like a child. You were forced to decide what you wanted to do with your life in a two year period. Not to mention all the pressures that come with friendships and relationships.

But, during those years of acne, mood swings and random boners you were probably thinking; "Wow I can't wait to be an adult! It looks awesome!" But it's not.

And this is where we come to what everyone seems to do during their life as an adult: Complaining. So, sit back, stress out and cry yourself to sleep, as we count down the top five reasons why being an adult really will ruin your life! (Which is mostly going to be about young adults #FirstWorldAdultProblems)

1. Money 

I think one of the main lies we believed as children was, adults have all the money to buy themselves whatever they wanted, whenever they felt like it. Sure, I have my own money now and in theory I could buy myself whatever I wanted but...What about that doctor's bill? What about that birthday that isn't for another three months but for some reason my adult brain is programmed to worry about it now? What about that rainy day? How do I know if there is enough rain for me to spend this money? Why has all my money suddenly disappeared from my bank account? Oh, because the bank took all my money for service charges while I was spending all that time worrying about how I was going to spend all that money I no longer have. Dammit.

2. College/University

Ah, third level education. The only place where I have to pay money, to possible make money in the future to pay back that loan I had to take out to pay all that money in the first place. Isn't it weird how all the friends you make on your course and going to be your rivals for work in a few years? Also, it's cool to be a nerd now? I don't have to go to class anymore? Third level education...Why you all backwards and scary?

3. Toy Stores

Do you really expect me to be able to walk around here and pretend like I don't want all this stuff? Why is it when kids throw tantrums over toys it's "sweet" and people say "awww poor little one" but when I do it I'm "unstable" and should "probably seek help". You're the one that needs help if you can't see how cool that Barbie with the colour changing hair is.

4. All of your friends are now adults

Yes, when you age your friends do too. I have old friends and people I know who are getting married and having kids. Other friends are working and having relationships. So once some of your friends fall into the adulthood trap, everyone else's social lives will suffer. It's a fact. Ask your mom. She's probably at home.

5. You just keep getting closer to death

In theory, we all are but, when you're fives year old you're not thinking about that. Almost as soon as people enter the workforce, they're being offered pension plans. Just let that sink in for a moment.

Remember Babe from those Babe the pig movies?

He became and adult and this happened;

Ok, rant over. To all those children hoping to be an adult someday; Run while you can it's trap!

Stay safe,


Sunday, 5 July 2015

Unpopular Opinions Tag

S'up guys. So, I finally got my computer sorted out so, now I will (hopefully) be posting more. I'm kind of running out of ideas for posts. That's pretty much the main reason I've been away. I mean, including this post, I've wrote 64 of the things. It get's difficult after a while. Leave me alone.

I was feeling really lazy today but, just wanted to write something. I decided we'd do the "Unpopular Opinion Tag". I wasn't actually tagged to do it but...chill. It'll be fine.

Unpopular Opinions Tag!

1. A selection of television programs you do not care for.

I don't really watch TV at all so...all of them? I watch Game of Thrones and it's pretty much it. I never got the Doctor Who or Sherlock hype. I can understand why people love the Walking Dead but, anytime I tried to watch it, it felt sooooo dragged out. So much so, I wished a zombie would eat my face off so I wouldn't have to sit through another year long episode. Part of me wants to watch Breaking Bad though. Maybe someday.

2. A selection of musical artists you do not care for.

Taylor Swift. One Direction. 5 Seconds of Summer. Basically anything the kids are liking these days. It's not even their music that annoys me. It's just...looking at them.

3. A selection of celebrities you couldn't care less about.

All of the above.

4. A hobby you "don't get".

Stamp collecting. Just...why? How do you even know what stamps you're supposed to be collecting. What makes one stamp better than another stamp? Are certain stamps rare and shiny and others are just shit? Do you have stamp duels with friends? 

5. A habit you find disgusting.

Cracking your knuckles. Please. Just stop.

6. Something in school you really liked doing that everyone else bitched over.

...Homework. I actually enjoyed getting homework. On a Friday, not so much but, every other day...sure. The only homework I hated getting was English and French. Everything else, bring it on. 

7. Your favorite household chore.

I like ironing. Its quite therapeutic.

8. Popular video games that make you go "meh".

Every MMO ever. Just don't see the appeal. Oh and The Last of Us. It was good...but was it THAT good?

9. PC or MAC?

PC, of course. 

10. A sport you don't like, for whatever reason.

All of them. I don't mind having a go at playing any sport so, I'm referring to watching them. Soccer...Cricket...Fucking golf. Watching golf is the equivalent of watching Arya's storyline in season 5 of Game of Thrones. Ooooh an unpopular opinion inside another unpopular opinions. ...Unpopception?

11. A sport you really like, for whatever reason.

Swimming. Again, I'm talking about watching sports on TV. I like watching the swimming and diving and the Olympics. Also, gymnastics.

12. Television programs you love but have gotten shit for liking.

I'm not really sure. I don't really watch TV.

13. Musical artists you love but have gotten shit for liking.

Avril Lavigne. Lady Gaga. Three Days Grace. Basically anything I listen to.

14. A hobby you have/find interesting that other people bother you over/make fun of.

All my girl friends don't get my gaming. All my guy friends don't get my fiction/poetry writing. Nobody gets my interest in everything spiritual. 

15. A habit you have that other people bug you over.

It's not not a habit but, I guess getting anxious over everything? 

16. Something in school you hating doing and it felt like everyone else loved.

Having to talk to people XD

17. The household chore that makes you want to shoot your own face off.

Sweeping the floor or hoovering. pls.

18. A selection of video games that you enjoy that perhaps you really shouldn't.

Every Sims game ever, including all the really bad My Sims and Sim animals. Also, Saints Row I guess.

19. A celebrity crush that maybe even you don't understand.

Oh God. Benedict Cumberbatch. Zac Efron. One Direction. I never seem to like anyone that everyone else does.

20. Free rant on whatever grinds your gears at the moment

Aha, what isn't. The series finale of Game of Thrones, just because it was awful. Susi. My internet. The list could go on all day.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to use this tag where ever you see fit. I tag all of you. There is not escape now.

Peace out


PS; Sorry if there's any weird grammatical errors. I'm still getting used to this new keyboard.